I will openly admit that I actually hate Twitter.
I don't understand it at all, nor do I even desire to. For me, all it seems like is a place for people to stream their every (unfunny) thought or whinge because a celebrity doesn't tweet them back (if someone with the username supercuteexdogsaregr8 ever contacted me in anyway I would probably attempt to delete my very existence).
But in the Twitter-sphere for me, there is only one true savior that makes everything right again.
Amanda Bynes I am looking at you.
Amanda Bynes is the living endorsement that social media, when used incorrectly, can actually depict you as a bipolar maniac.
Until recently, Amanda Bynes was a child actor who had a string of mediocre-but-entertaining movies in her late teens/early twenties. She had her own Nickelodeon sketch-show 'The Amanda Show' in 1999 which ran until 2002, which launched her into stardom (still one of the greatest shows to hit our screens- Amanda Please). Followed by a sequence of films that can best be describes as 'that one time man, that one time' type of movies, such as What a Girl Wants, She's the Man, Hairspray, Sydney White and Easy A, Bynes seemed set to have a long career as a popular and relatively normal actress.
The good days, when braids and blue eye-shadow were really trendy
However, like almost all child-stars, Bynes went round the twist.
Bynes had a small string of driving offenses over a small period of time, one for talking on the mobile phone, one for DUI and then two alleged hit-and-runs. No big deal really, who hasn't driven recklessly and endangered lives a couple of times whilst under the influence? Later Bynes was arrested in her apartment for drug possession among other crimes, and promptly threw her bong out her 36th apartment window
Despite the growing signs of needing an intervention, Bynes did the absolutely worst thing any celebrity with a downward spiral could do- she turned to social media.
Her first tweet was innocent enough- She wanted singer Drake, to 'murder' her vagina.
The Tweet that started it all
Easily not the worst thing that has ever happened on the Internet (If you need more clarification that worst things exist, YouTube Shrek is Love Shrek is Life. But I'm going to go by appropriate University protocol -and the protocol of human existence- and warn you not to watch it.)
After this Bynes started getting a bit feisty and started calling other celebrities ugly.
It didn't obviously take long for the media to catch wind of another celebrities downfall (Amanda really filled in the time where everyone was waiting for Miley Cyrus to loose the plot- stellar timing!)
Let's take a quick look at all of the celebrities Amanda Bynes thinks are Ugly
-Miley Cyrus (a god-given lie and we all know it)
-Kid Cudi
-Lance Bass
-Dr Drew
-Jason Biggs
-Keith Rivers
-Perez Hilton (okay this one I'll actually give to her)
-Ru Paul (once again, kinda on point)
-Jenny McCarthy
-Drake (she kept changing her mind on Drake's appearance. One week he's most Gorgeous man alive,the next, ugly.)
-Drake's Mother (not really sure how this one came about)
-Courtney Love
-Jay-Z
-Amanda Bynes' Sister (Bit Awkward)
-Amanda Bynes' Parents (Again, Awkward)
-The Cop that Arrested Her
-Matt Prokop and Sarah Hyland (she got a two-for-one deal with this Tweet)
-Zac Efron (she boarded on blasphemy here)
-Barack and Michelle Obama
-Chrissy Teigan
-Rihanna
Powerful words
All I can say is that, although she insulted the most powerful man in music (Jay-Z) at least she didn't insult the leader of the free world (his wife Beyonce- sorry Obama).
Bynes, along with calling everyone on Twitter ugly, decided to post half-naked photos on the network. Not that I'm personally against half-naked photos- I spend most of my life looking at Victoria's Secret Catalog- but Bynes, in these photos decided to don a couple of wigs that even Nikki Minaj would have called ratchet, and pierce her cheeks with what appear to be nails.
Icon in the making
In the deep depths of my black heart I hoped Bynes was just joking, and was a photo away from throwing off her rats-nest of fake hair with her trademark goofy grin and then release another mediocre movie that will make us all laugh for five minutes.
#nofilter
Alas that Bynes is gone, and Twitter-Bynes is here to stay- at least until she's finished her intervention at rehab.
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