Sad Bitch Guide to Convergence in the Media

Lets be brutally honest and say that it is widely known that absolutely nothing in this world is totally and completely free. We live in a world hell-bent on business, however we are all massive cheapskates and want to glide through life without dropping so much as a cent.

Humans now live in a world of entitlement; I know for a fact that I feel so entitled to having an iPhone; I’d rather put off my highly important phone bill for as long as I can, and instead choose to spend $70 on a new dress and buy a $36 lipstick (it was M.A.C so that’s relatively justified). With the rising trend of entitlement, our basic expectations also evolve.

I’ve put together what I like to call ‘Vital Basic Human Requirements: 2014 Edition,’ which essentially is comprised of the following items nations of the First World believe are essential for life, but should also be free/super-cheap.

-       IPhone/iPod/iPad and associated accessories

-       Wi-Fi / internet access

-       Make-up (This is mainly mine, partly because its so expensive all the time, plus I look like a 12-year-old boy without make-up and I spend too much time looking up photos of/comparing myself to Victoria’s Secret Angels)

-       Plane tickets (especially however I am willing to settle for any form of transport)

-       Fuel in general

-       Parking

-       University Textbooks

The Episode from The Simpsons where Chuck Garrabedian told everyone that he was wearing a dead mans suit, voyaged on a yacht that smells like cat piss and parties with transexuals. Squeeze Every Penny- the new Hallelujah

I’m almost certain having free University textbooks outweighs the need for food and water, seeing that is what is usually sacrificed at the beginning of every semester. I say water because I refuse to drink out of water taps (Gross).

Essentially we live in a time where we expect Gold for the price of Silver (I work in a jewellery store part-time- if you think that you can find a solid 9ct gold 10mm bangle for approximately $200 then get out of my store).

Now this is all good and well for consumers as different businesses battle it out to have the lowest prices (My addiction to Kmart means I can never buy something for more than $5 ever again), however this is slightly problematic for sectors such as the media. It is often said information is the most vital resource and commodity we have. Yet, like the regular cheapskates we are, we don’t want to spend $1.50 for a newspaper, and instead waste data by reading about the news online. We live in a technological world that is constantly changing, thus the ways in which we distribute information and communicate must also change. Schools no longer use blackboards and chalk (I work in a school too) and instead implement interactive smart boards. Emails are more commonly used than the post (from which we can really only expect bills and traffic infringements), text messages and instant messengers are more reliable than phone calls, and the Internet is killing not only the Radio star, but also the cinemas, bookshops, newspapers and publishers, and human socialisation.

The media is essentially a business; just on a larger scale, and they, like any other business, cannot afford to operate for free. Maybe there is a little bit of self-reflection that is required here. There is more security in information stemming from ‘Traditional media;’ there is bias in almost anything, however we can usually rely on the fact that whoever wrote the headline news is in some way an accredited and educated journalist, rather than a 13-year-old somewhere who ‘totes thinks the Malaysian (or Maeylaysean as this illiterate twit spelt it) plane is gonnnee 4eva lol’ (actual comment made on fake article- insightful). Nothing in this world is more dangerous than incorrect information communicated by an idiot with a megaphone.

Big Thumbs Up for Facebook for allowing idiots everywhere to express their uneducated and illiterate opinion (Lousy pun unfortunately intended)

Web 2.0 (the incorporation of ‘prod-users’ to contribute information i.e. social network) is an amazing technological advance, however it simply does not substitute actual journalism or proper distribution of information. So lets work together and save this scrambled mediasphere- and unitedly become slightly less massive cheapskates.

Adriana Lima- it should have been me 

Make-up should still be cheap though- we are given unrealistic expectations of beauty so help me live up to them. That and so boy scouts leaders stop mistaking me for a member of their group.

Actual Photo Representation of me without make-up