Monday 17 March 2014

Sad Bitch Guide to Miley Cyrus

I'm going to come right out and say it- Miley Cyrus is probably the greatest person of the 21st Century.

I understand many people will be asking the simple and exasperated question of why? However I have to admit someone with the confidence to practically finger themselves on stage at a recorded awards ceremony has earned my admiration considering I lack the confidence to wear a bikini in my own swimming pool. 

I do admit that maybe she's taken the whole Hannah-Montana-is-just-a-television-character-and-I'm-my-own-person facade a tad too far -excited or not she probably didn't need to keep licking everything on stage (hygiene is still important)- however no one can deny that she is now her own person, and no longer a product of Disney. Lets not forget that Miley's Bangers  tour is probably one of the most anticipated shows of the year, and teenagers and young adults every where are not lining up to hear 'The Climb'.


How many people can say that their tongue is famous?

So I suppose the real question here is this- Is Miley Cyrus an example of the poetic Individual in Society or just another child star gone wrong?

Lets not forget how instructively difficult it must have been for Cyrus growing up in the spotlight- Paparazzi covered her every move, from what tights she wore under her already knee-length dresses to the well publicised 'purity-ring' her parents probably forced her to wear at age fourteen. Maintaining an image of wholeness, purity, virginity and the clothing of an eleven-year-old would be tough on any fifteen to sixteen-year-old, especially considering what most young adults want to do now a days is go out and get shitfaced with their friends whilst wearing as little clothing as possible (ahh Saturday night nostalgia). Instead putting on a bad wig and convincing little girls to be themselves would have been tough on Cyrus, when she couldn't even be herself. 

The Hannah Montana Days

We saw the cracks in her 'whole' image start to appear after a couple of Myspace photos leaked (nothing that hasn't been already uploaded by half the teenage population of the first world), whereby media scrambled to paint Cyrus as a bad role model. Lets make one thing clear- taking a selfie doesn't make you a bad role model, it makes you a regular teenager. 

Remember when everyone thought this was rebellious?

Around age fifteen Cyrus hit controversy again when she appeared in a bed sheet in Vanity Fair. Fair enough to say that the photos were slightly risqué for a fifteen-year-old, but as a thirteen to fourteen-year-old myself at the time, I personally thought Cyrus looked amazing. The photos featured in Vanity Fair were tasteful, artistic and beautiful. Forced to make an apology to her fans for something to be proud of is just another hit taken as Cyrus' attempts to simply 'be herself.'

The (apparently) controversial cover

What we now see is a modern day Cyrus- short blonde hair, very few items of clothing, a lot of lycra and sexualised-lyrics. She's compared to Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Bynes, Britney Spears and legions of other child stars who fell to disgrace. 

But the main difference between Cyrus and her crazed counterparts is that her career is probably bigger and better than ever. What we have seen is a change in target audience. Parents who take their 8-year-olds to concerts don't seem to realise that the target audience is eighteen to mid-twenties, and are then shocked when Cyrus refers to sex, drugs and alcohol in her lyrics. Is this Cyrus being a bad role-model? Hardly- why would any reasonable parent take their eight-year-old child to a concert named Bangers. No underhandedness here, just plain stupidity on the parents part.

The Liam Hemsworth Years

I don't particularly blame Cyrus for acting out; she missed her crazy teenage years- working full time at age thirteen, dated a Jonas brother (are they even alive anymore??), got engaged as a teenager to dreamboat but total bore Liam Hemsworth, her brother is the lead singer of Metro Station (once again, alive??) and has Billy Ray Cyrus as a father- and is only acting as most regular twenty-one-year-olds do: experimenting. Whether it be with her hair, fashion or sexuality, Cyrus is basically the running the scientific party house. Not everyone is going to like Cyrus's attitude, behaviour and general lifestyle choices, but she's young, rich and famous, so I doubt she really cares about what people think of her.

The Mullet that would live on to inspire (and scare) generations

Miley's brother, Trace Cyrus (Pray for Miley)


I love you Miley Cyrus, foam-finger and all.

Iconic

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