Reflection Post on Semester in JN1001

My experience in JN1001 has felt short, mainly because I arrive at class 20 minutes late every week and can't attend tutorials. No offense, but 8:00 am is not an appropriate time for class or being productive.

8:00 am is not a place, its an emotion

The class has been pretty entertaining, mainly because too many people take themselves way to seriously to be studying Journalism (low prospective incomes get me excited too), but the fundamentals interested me.

Unfortunately I think news relies way too much on the Internet. As much as I love the Internet and take way too much pleasure in it, but the focus on photojournalism and multi-media dimensions is causing Journalism to lose touch with its original purpose.

You may find yourself questioning some of my views in these blogs, and some might consider me to be narcissistic, rude and quite generally a bitch. If you have these negative views about me, please click here!

I've decided to end this with a natural photo of myself, straight out of bed in the morning

Good Bye JN1001, sorry for all the crude remarks and swearing

This Has Nothing to Do with Journalism

Kim Kardashian got married this week

To celebrate, here are photos of Kim Kardashian crying

I Love You Internet

Sad Bitch Guide to Not Doing Things on Time

This is a photo of debri Cyclone Ita (or its just a big pile of palm leaves in my backyard that I didn't feel like cleaning up. Same thing)

I didn't understand this photography task at all and I was supposed to do this a while ago but yolo

Sad Bitch Guide to Immortals

Here is a collection of photos of women who don't age and are probably vampires, or practice in black magic or something

Madonna

Jennifer Aniston (maybe being dumped for Angelina Jolie does something for your complexion?)

Gwen Stefani (too hot for 44)

Come on now Meryl this is just ridiculous

I'm clearly just running out of ideas and no longer care enough to write things that are substantial.

Sorry

Sad Bitch Guide to Male Style Changes

There is an old theory that when two people fall in love, their image changes to suit that person. Sometimes this is a great thing, other times, not so great. I feel there needs to be a rehab clinic for men whose appearances change for the worst, depending on the women they are with.

Lets have a quick look at the Hollywood men we have lost in the past few years

Brad Pitt

The Gwyneth Paltrow years, when we couldn't really tell who was Gwyneth Paltrow and who was Brad Pitt

The Jennifer Aniston years, when everything was good with the world

Present Day where Brad Pitt is now in a relationship with Angelina Jolie, and Angelina Jolie's Right Leg. 

Sometimes I feel that Brad Pitt feels that just because he is dating Angelina Jolie, that he looks and can dress like Angelina Jolie.

Justin Timberlake

We cried when these two broke up

We he was clearly punching above his weight with Cameron Diaz

With Jessica Biel, where they look good together, but not enough for anyone to care

Shane Warne

This man doesn't deserve his own section, however he has had more changes than any man alive, oddly enough they all seem to be as bad as the last.

With Simone Callahan, embarrassing Australia one photo at a time

When Liz Hurley hired Warne out as her own personal Ken Doll (this is still gross)

Now with Emily Scott, and still looking like a total tool

Johnny Depp

Johnny and Kate Moss will never stop being perfect

With Vanessa Paradis, which admittedly worked really well for a few years

Let us have a moment of silence for the dark fashion phrases that take place in attractive men's lives when they get a new girlfriend.

Sad Bitch Guide to Investigative Reporting

Lets take a moment to look at Investigative Reporting

Now once again this is an area that has been glorified by the film and novel industry (All the Presidents Men, Almost Famous, Capote, Frost Nixon, Balibo, A Mighty Heart, State of Play, The Pelican Brief etc), enough for people to believe this to be a glamorous and household-name-making role.

Sexually Attractive Icons just went Retro

Well evidently its not.

We have been taught from out lecture that basically investigative journalism is about uncovering other peoples secrets (probably for no real reason) other than for public interest (because there aren't privacy laws or anything).

For the better part, I have no problem with investigative journalism.

But.

When the idea of a 'scandal' is more important then the actual news itself, perhaps the journalist needs to take a moment of self-reflection. Why are they writing about this? Whose life are they going to impact? Does that person deserve this treatment?

Lets look at the case of Francis Abbott, daughter of Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott.

This has quickly turned into an Abbott Appreciation Post 

#eyebrowgamestrongerthanthebudget

Francis received a rare scholarship to a private college in 2011, graduating from a Bachelor of Design with distinction. This information came to light immediately after the 2014 Budget was announced, with proposed changes to university fees. Immediately there was scandal that Ms Abbott did not deserve her scholarship due to the friendship between the institutes chairman, Les Taylor, and her father Tony Abbott. My personal opinion about this matter is that to have the audacity to question someones scholarship because her father is Prime Minister is pretty pathetic. Some classmates have said Frances did not deserve a scholarship, but I doubt anyone has taken into account the possibility that these washed-up has-been's are jealous and anti-Liberal and overly keen to slander a young women's name. At the end of the day, yes it looks shady, but as a Private College, that institute can give scholarships to whomever they damn well please. And evidently Frances did well enough to graduate with distinction. But the real question is; why should anyone give a damn?

Not everyone likes Tony, but god-willing, he has some hot daughters

This is not investigative journalism. These are people who target others to foreground their own opinions and agendas. Like I have always said, there is bias in everything, so always be careful about what you read and interpret.

Otherwise investigative journalism looks like fun, but knowing me I'll be the one person to get killed in a car bomb or something.

Me

Happy Days!

Sad Bitch Guide to the Church of Pitbull

I don't usually get spiritual in public, but I feel there is a Religious figure who is often Sidelined, a leader like no other, a God who needs to be brought into the light.

Welcome to the Gospel according to Pitbull.

Hail the Messiah

Now I am sure many of you are wondering, what is this amazing religion and where do I sign up??

First I will take you through the steps of what it means to worship under the faith of Pitbull.

The Church of Pitbull was established in 1981 after Pitbull returned to the Earth after spending 23 years in space chilling out. He entered the Earth's atmosphere by sliding down a rainbow waterfall from the moon and upon arrival made it rain bitches. 

Key Beliefs

Pitbull created the heaven and the earth on the first-fourth day, and it was hella rocking

On the fifth day Pitbull said 'Where my Party People at?" and mankind was created

On the sixth day Pitbull partied, and created the Seventh day, the Sabbath, to rest and praise Pitbull for the hangover you have received through his blessed partying.

There is no one better than Pitbull

There is one and only one Pitbull

You will worship only the one Pitbull and no other

All pitciples are created equal.

Those who practice the teachings of Pitbull will go to an afterlife pool party to be surprised with alcoholic beverages and bikini models.

Amen

Teachings of the Church of Pitbull

Make it rain ca$h money

Party with others how you would like to be partied with

Remember the Party Date

Thou shall not covert his neighbours bitches

Thou shall not kill the party vibe

Honour thy host and thy host's home

Thou shall not bear false witness to the awesomeness of the party

Rituals

Friday and Saturday Night are clubbing nights

Partying on a boat will gain you extra Pit-points

If you are a women, the less clothes the better

If you are a man, suit up

Pool Parties are never a bad idea

Body Shots are the new Holy Water

Pit-Points

Traditional Prayer

Oh Pitbull,

We humbly thank you for this heavenly party you have given us,

We thank you for almost making up believe that Latin people qualify as being black,

Your incorporation of rhyming words with themselves inspires our creative flow,

We thank you for our 1 shot, 2 shot, 3 shot, floor,

In your name we aspire to be packing ca$h money

In the name of the T-Pain, the J-Lo and the Enrique Inglesias, 

Amen

Those assembled must shout the name of a random European city and fist pump thrice in unison

The Church according to Pitbull prides itself for being the music of choice to embarrassing drunk White Girls across the 7 continents of the world, and convincing a generation that one person can be White, Latino and Black all at once #nationsunite

The Church of Pitbull extends to the major areas of life-

Environment (It's going down, I'm yellin Timber)

Health Care (Don't stop, keep it moving, put your drinks up!)

Budget (ca$h money)

Education (100 problems - 1 bitch = 99 problems)

Human Rights (Shake shake, just shake shake)

For those who think they are lonely; for those who feel they don't get paid enough to jump around in a bikini, and for those white guys who want to be taken seriously as a rapper, Pitbull is here for you.

Pitbull is my God, and I hope he will be your God too.